There’s stories that i don’t ever want to forget. And the more i put it aside, the more i forget. So here’s to my grandma, one of the most amazing women I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, and to our shared little moments.

-my grandparents apartment was a little corner apartment, and it was at the time when apartments were like little homes. There was a plot of land for the backyard, it was spacious, and theirs had a hill that overlooked the main road down below. My grandpa built a mini garden in the back since my grandma loved her plants. And i remember the tomato plant, and just the sheer abundance of potted plants taking up the back patio.

-my grandma used to take off the chicken skin from her cooking, deep fry it, and then feed it to the crows. It became my chore to feed the crows. One day I got curious and ate a fried skin. IT was delicious! So i started feeding the crows, and eating some. My grandma noticed…and she started cooking some just for me. Chicken chicharon.

-when i was younger, i used to stay at her house, which wasn’t too far from mine. It was only a block and a vertical hill away, honestly a 10 minute walk. But i was 5? And my mom had entrusted me to her care. Of course antsy/independent me wanted to go home to mom, and I remember leaving my grandparents house, on my horse stick…galloping home and seeing my mom in the kitchen. Mom calls grandma, “hi Ma, hows Hannah?”

“Good, she’s just playing outside.”

“Really? Bc she’s here.”

“HAAH!?”

-when i got older, i got shy talking to my grandma. But one day, i was old enough and she was getting weaker… so I started looking after grandma and helping her around the house. I remember I had been so looking forward to this week of freedom and potential LA trips bc my parents were going to be out of town…and then I learned I was to stay at my grandma’s and take care of her. Hindsight 2020, I am so thankful for that week bc that’s when we started talking again.

-I used to love collecting instruments.. and one day I ordered a baby accordion. I opened the box at my grandma’s apartment, started goofing around with it…and she just chuckled at me. I think I remember those chuckles the most. To this day, I only know 3 songs, one of which is the chicken dance. Which I learned in that first week bc it had been one of my grandma’s “favorite dances.”

- I became the driver for that house, and one day as I got into the driver’s seat for grandma, Tita Beth, and Tita Ikit, I grabbed Tito Romy’s hat which he had left behind and put it on my head to drive. I like hats ok. Especially while driving. Anyways, she says to Tita ikit, “Ang galling ni Hannah, parang Lalaki, mahilig sa hat, sa basketball, magaling pag tugtog ng gitara at piano.” *insert chuckle* Though i no longer remember verbatim what she said, she was proud (and amused) at me lol. It’s something I still hold on to.

-My grandma once stayed at our house and actually ventured upstairs for once. We were taking care of her and she never had a reason to climb our stairs before. Anyways, she took advantage of it and wanted to see my room. Now my room is a hot mess of color. I have no decoration skills and tend to cover every inch of my wall with anything. One wall is like a gallery fo my paintings/art which are all very bold colorful things. My closet wall is a large collage of pictures and Vitaminwater labels from 2009. There’s graffiti, more art. Random calendar flowers. Track and field medals. You can imagine the chaos. She comes in with her walker, stands in the corner and just takes everything in. After a moment she just chuckles and says “magulo pala ang ulo mo.” *CHUCKLE* That it is grandma, that it is.

-Along with my grandma caretaker duties, I had to accompany her to the bathroom. I learned in college from my friends the proper way to put down a toilet seat cover, it makes sense bc the shape and cutout adds up…but i didn’t learn it that way ok! And to prove my point, my grandma got mad at me when i put it “the wrong way” and made me correct it. Each and every time. Only for her did i make a mental note to put it down backwards lol.

-My grandma would sing in this high pitched tone during mass. It was off key and honestly not that great. Sometimes i would have to hold back laughing, but now…it’s one of the most endearing memories I have of her. No matter what, she loved and would sing to Jesus.

-My grandma had a CD that she would play every night, and I remember having to set it up for her. Kieran started falling asleep to that CD as well. It was a bunch of classical music. I can still picture her sitting up on her bedside, in her sando and leggings, reading a little book (usually a prayer/meditation/The Upper Room), the bright white fluorescent light harshly lighting it all up. And she’d be sitting there with her reading glasses and music in the back. It was her routine.

-A regret I have is that I never learned the full version of Fur Elise. I only learned parts of it when I was 11, and that was always my grandmas request from me. When I got to college and my friends started taking piano and learning it, I wanted to learn all the parts and play it for her.. but we never got to that part. She left for the Philippines, I moved to LA. When we FaceTimed the family as they sat with her in the hospital room…we sang to her. I played piano, and at some point I remember playing Fur Elise for her one last time. Trust me, the tears were flowing bc it was th only thing I could give her. Me, grandma and Fur Elise were always a thing…and I’m lucky I had that. I’m sad that I never learned it. I still haven’t.

-The last time I saw my grandma was at a weekend despedida at my house. We had spent the day playing mahjong, eating, xyz.. she was dressed nice as usual in a black blouse and white slacks. And I remember taking pictures with her, being stupid as usual, and promising to see her next time, we were already making plans to visit her and Tita Beth in the Philippines. There wasn’t a next time. That was the last hug I got to give her, the last touch. They cremated her body in the Philippines and sent us the ashes.

I think she knew though, I got to interview her. Who willingly sits down and answer questions like that you know? She was a strong, intelligent, and beautiful woman who found humor in a lot of things, and I am so proud to call her my grandma.